My heart sinks, my stomach aches and my mind goes into another tailspin when I read about, and watch the story of 15 year old Amanda Todd, the BC teen who committed suicide after posting her tragic story on youtube, detailing the bullying she endured for years. She reminds me of many of the youth and adults I have had in sessions, creating puzzles, and seeing in their personal pieces many life realities that could be compared to Amanda’s.

My passion is higher than yesterday, encouraging everyone to look at the simple fact that bullying has gone on for decades, we have studied it for decades, we have had the same “solutions” for decades and IT IS NOT BETTER! So PLEASE, it is evident that what we are doing to stop this epidemic is not working! We have to rethink, look at our perspectives, see a new picture of what is creating this despair.

As I prepare for sessions with amazing youth tomorrow, all I can think of is my obligation to, and my passion for generating real, factual understanding of what is happening with this epidemic of bullying and the obvious horrifying consequences. I intend on piecing together their conclusions to what is creating aggressive behavior and why it continues. I will imbue in them that they WILL respect, be kind and helpful because “THEY ARE GOOD!”

I will NOT delve into bully scenarios, concentrating on how cruel, vicious they can be. I will not suggest they “BE GOOD” because, as the words to the left describe, this gives rise to devastating emotions. I will NOT suggest any role-plays on how to bully. I will stress their natural ability to impart compassion and co-operation throughout their day.

I continue to build my October 27th session to generate clear, vivid understanding of what makes a bully. I assure fulfilment afterward to all attendees because it is they who will create their own understanding of the epidemic, therefore solutions they understand and can implement.

We need to change and we need to start today!

 

4 Responses to Another Suicide. A Tragic Bullycide.

  1. Cheryl says:

    Thank you for your post. This has really touched my heart. Bullying has clearly gone to an extreme and the world we are raising our kids in today is not the same world we grew up in….and it’s scary. It makes me realize the role that I myself play in all of this. I have a duty to ensure that I am raising children who are kind, respectful and compassionate towards others. It is up to me to teach my children this by leading by example because it is US that show our children how to treat others. Ask yourself…..how are you treating that sales associate at the store? How are you interacting with people that you do not know? Do we have the mentality that meh it’s not like I’ll even see them again or I will get what I want and I won’t let anyone tell me no. I can tell you being in a customer service role for many years how many times parents have demonstrated bullying in front of their children and called that shopping. We demonstrate to our children on how to treat people. It’s also important for us parents to teach our children how to have a voice and stand by someone who is being bullied (which is somewhat scary cuz they are scared to be the next target) or to report it….not ignore it. Again…..how many times as adults do any of us ignore someone who is on need because we are minding our own business like if someone drops a whole bunch of stuff, will you stop to help a random stranger? What I’m saying is that if we want bullying to stop, change has to begin with each and every one of us so our youth can be shown how to do this properly…..not viciously. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” ~Mahatma Ghandi

    • Lana says:

      Thank you Cheryl! Your summary is the hope, the light and the passion behind change that many of my attendees feel. The initial understanding that A Life in Pieces is about children, leads quickly to the realization that adults feel themselves as they explore who children are. We begin to see hypocrisy is confusing for kids, expecting from our children what we do not expect of ourselves, causing anxiety and frustration. We as a world need to see bullying is NOT just child to child, it is NOT up to children to change the world. Life involves adults and we need to be brave enough to look at ourselves and see where we can help make things better.

  2. Brigita says:

    Thank you Cheryl and Lana! I agree with you completely. I have two little ones- my son is 4 and my daughter is 2 years old. It is sometimes scary to think in not so distant future when they start school if they will be treated well by their classmates. I try my best to teach them being kind, respectful, empathetic, say please and thank you at a young age…it is all up to adults to guide their children in the right direction towards being better human being. Unfortunately, so many kids are not getting enough attention and guidance from grown ups. My older brother-in-law, who works as a teacher, sees the evidence of neglect and bad parenting every day, and it is very sad.

    • Lana says:

      Hi Brigita!
      What truth! Time does fly and our kids are in school, entering a stage where fear is a given. I assure my adult audiences, the kids I work with, the youth I empower that these fears can be greatly diminished with the simple truth that children, from the time they are born, are “all they need to be,” my mantra for A Life in Pieces. It is beginning with the peace we strive for in goodness and respect, instead of “training” goodness for years, never really achieving it. Our children ARE good, kind and respectful and it is only when they are told that peers will push, take a toy, call you names, do they impart that into their brains, act it out and react to it. Child development provides a truth – if children are not told “a bully calls me fat”, they will likely not say it, think it, nor react to it. This is the beginning of change for all kids, and powerful for kids who are neglected and treated badly in any environment. For me, “bullies” have evolved to imbue kindness in their classmates, their families and communities, just by connecting their goodness.

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