The fall season is proving very productive and successful for A Life in Pieces. As many opportunities have arisen to present this beautiful vision, I can continue to say, unequivocally, the feelings generated through the journey from “BE GOOD!” to “I AM GOOD!” remain the same.
To the left are feelings shared at my latest youth session – insult, confusion and pain arise from my suggestion to “BE GOOD!”, leading to the youth exclaiming – “I am NOT you! We are not the same!” A very important message for us adults – as we attempt to create our children into little adults, just like us, we are creating the very behaviours we are trying to eliminate. With feelings of – scared, “I am bad”, sad, mad, controlled (authoritarian) etc. the children have ignited their stress response system and now operating at a level close to fight and flight, meaning impulsive, difficult to listen sit still, “behave”. We have so much to learn from these revealing facts from our youth.
FEEL “I AM GOOD” – pride, inspired, connected, loved, sweet……….then imagine forming a relationship with children on a daily basis with such joy. “You ARE fair; you CAN share; you ARE great!” creates multiple body changes that generate respect, joy, cooperation, good choices……..Let them own their goodness and, instead of the confusion created with BE GOOD, because what does that really mean, they already are where they need to be therefore they will behave respectfully. Welcome to a world where children WANT to be kind and humane!
Following are feelings shared from my most recent workshop engaging professionals from administration, teachers, educational assistants, registered nurses and counselors working to better the lives of children to adults. Please note – they are the same!!
The picture on the left are the spontaneous feelings when hearing “I AM GOOD” from the boss in the staff room. To the very right in the red ink, the adults express feeling good, appreciated, thankful….and the twist, when the boss displays a gift to the staff – “what do you want???” To the very left in red, are feelings expressed when half of the staff was told they were good, and the other half told they have failed at the task of “good” for the week, and good luck trying for next weeks reward. Expressed – feeling rejected; like I failed; hopeless; unresponsible; and to try again next week – “maybe…” The staff that were rewarded felt (in black ink) horrible as there is differential treatment. When I told them to “BE GOOD”, they responded negatively – (in blue ink) I won’t work; working against you, not for; confused because I don’t know what to do; angry; I don’t get it. Feelings from being told to BE GOOD – down; feel like I am being disciplined; pressure; small; I will shut down; don’t want to listen and I won’t like you; become defiant.
The solution – always the solution = “I AM GOOD!” generates all that is good. As can been seen to the left in RED- 1st time; and BLACK 2nd time; and the capitol letter feelings = WhooWhoo; good; energized; awake; apprehension (what is coming next?); Yay; confidence; inspired; lighter; positivity; happier; GREAT; HAPPY; MOTIVATING; ACTION.
Joyfully and factually this produces a positive, encouraging, respectful, productive day, week, year! I love it when facts about the human brain and body support the need for the human race to embrace “I AM GOOD!” Why, when there is a pattern of horrible feelings affecting ones behaviour when using BE GOOD, would we engage this practice at all? Why, when the results from the feeling of never being good enough are painful and unproductive, do we stress over social skills that have a sole purpose of training children to be good otherwise why would they have to be tried. WHY can’t we just exclaim “you already are good!”
REPEAT after me – I AM GOOD!” “YOU ARE GREAT!”